Today’s been another lovely day for me - it feels so good after the past couple weeks I’ve had of trying to find where my thoughts are (not quite what it sounds like, but I can’t find the words to describe where I’ve been).

I’m seeing my world now on a whole new level. I know that the past few weeks of sometime frustration, and more often a sense of “stuckness” were good because they got me here - I’m truly getting the sense that it’s all good. And you know, just last month I wouldn’t have said this.

The writing has just been flowing and I just love it. I haven’t felt this way about my writing since I was a teenager, and to have that flow, and the feeling of flow, too, come back like this has been something that’s really held me together this month, even when I felt uncertain about other things.

So today has been truly delicious. I’ve got five writing projects on the go. I realized that one of my problems is that I get bored when I work on the same thing all the time, and I need to have different things to go to as the passion rises in me. I don’t get the sense in any of the writing books that I’ve read that this is necessarily “the” way to go about it, but I create my world, and I’m creating that this particular way IS my way to go about it.

Right now, I’m working on two scripts, which are on the backburner because I want to order the Final Draft software and quit working on the demo version. I am on chapter 5 of my children’s fantasy, and yesterday I started my adult action/thriller that has a fantasy background to it. And of course, there are my spiritual memoirs, which have played a huge role in me finding myself exactly HERE right now, in this lovely feeling place today.

The ideas are flowing fast, though - I think it might be because of my decision to let myself work on lots of different projects so that I don’t get bored. Last night I got an idea for a chick lit novel, and there’s a truly fun feel to that.

So I feel very celebratory tonight. And most of all, all day now I’ve had with me this feeling of choice. And freedom.

It feels good.

Today’s just been a whole string of magical moments for me, and you know, I can’t even express in words exactly what the magic revolved around. I feel like I’ve reached a turning point, that I managed to step over a gap that used to be an obstacle, but now lies behind me, with no power to affect me at all.

The best thing about all of this is that I’ve been working to meet a deadline tomorrow, racing through my work, in fact. And whereas in the past you might have caught a picture of me slumped at my desk, drained, tired, frustrated, willing the whole thing to be just done now, okay? today I’ve been feeling light, creative, and having a whole lot of fun looking at the world around me.

I came to some understandings with myself this morning, too, and it should mean that I will be blogging here a whole lot more. You’ll see some password protected posts - I finally remembered that with WP v. 2+ I can password protect individual posts, so I’ll do that if I want to throw some family pics up.

And another understanding I came to was on the role of blogging in my life. I’d been letting it take over too much of my dreams, when it really had nothing to do with my real dream. And it’s strange to say, but it does mean that I can now focus on this blog and a few others, and treat the rest like a business.

I LOVE the feeling I got just typing that!

And now, spreading some link love: my beautiful friend Terri has just launched her writer’s website. It’s beautiful, and so is she. The website was created by another friend of mine.

Lately I’ve been re-discovering my writing self. When I was young, all I ever did was write. I lived it and breathed it. Even when I became a teenager, there were lots of times when I would turn down hanging out at the mall in order to stay home and pound away at the keyboard.

Then, I started university. Moved in with my boyfriend (now ex-husband). And I stopped writing.

Recently I’ve been having energy work sessions, and in the last session, I asked Amy to take a look at my writing energy. Mainly, I wanted to know why I find it so difficult to sit down and work on any of my fiction.

Because I do find it a challenge. And I didn’t really understand why. I have such wonderful memories of sitting down to write, slipping into that feeling of flow, and having time pass by so quickly as the words poured through me.

My energy reading was an eye-opener for me. Amy talked about how once upon a time, I decided I had to focus on a linear way of thinking and being in order to survive and be successful. And because that didn’t come naturally to me, I gave it a lot of energy in order to make it work. And I’ve continued doing that, even though I’m probably now at a stage where it’s not as important.

The really great news is that the writing world feels far more real and reachable to me once again. I even woke up the day after my reading with an idea for a script. I’m starting on that right now, with my friend Holly’s help.

And my children’s book is ready to emerge, too.

I can just feel that feeling of flow that comes from being immersed in my writing!

Lately I’ve been coming into a feeling of grace. I look around me, and feel so much appreciation for all that is. Everything is coming together in ways that I could not have described in exact phrases and stamped “done” - I feel kind of like I handed the reigns to the Universe and in letting go and letting be, things are coming into fruition.

My friend Holly once wrote that getting up to speed with the fast-moving stream is very much about feeling so at ease with that speed that to you it feels gentle and easy. I’m feeling this now, like I’ve come up to speed with the fast-moving stream, and it feels gentle and easy.

The process has been like floating down a slowly meandering stream, knowing that I’m getting to where I’m headed and loving the flow of life as things settle gently into place.

I used to be scared to give myself over to the stream - what if my canoe tips? What if I bump into a rock? But every day I feel more of a knowing that my stream IS fast moving, but within these rapids, I’m riding a gentle current that is as fast and quick as the roughest rapids.

I can’t really explain it. But “grace” comes to mind. It’s like a feeling of grace.

Hayley’s film “Saviours”, which she co-produced with her friend Heather, was shortlisted for the Captivate contest.

We’re going tonight to the awards part of the contest. It will be our first awards ceremony, but I know that it is the first of many for my daughter.

She called me from school where she got notification that she had been shortlisted, along with an invitation to tonight’s ceremony. She was so excited. She’s normally a very cool and collected person, creative yet practical, and it was so exciting just to hear her excitement.

The film that Hayley and Heather produced is really amazing. I’ll link to it as soon as it’s up on the Captivate site.

I’ve mentioned before how inspiring I find Hayley’s creativity and passion for her work. I’m feeling it today, that’s for sure.